Everything and Nothing

In my previous blog titled Accidents, I mentioned that the moments that happen by accident are usually a lot more exciting than those we expect. However, there are predictable moments that can still have a strong effect on us and our environment.

Death, for example.

My grandfather passed away Sunday night, Oct 23. This was something I expected years ago. I was preparing for it, and by the time it happened, I was basically desensitized to the entire situation. My mother was expecting it too. Of course she was still emotional. Who wouldn’t be after losing a parent that they spent so much time with and loved so much? But with all this happening, I still felt nothing. I felt that I had too many other things to worry about. I couldn’t react properly. Maybe I will one day, or maybe I never will.

Some family tried reaching out to me after it happened, but I didn’t respond because I normally don’t talk to them anyway. But it was later that I realized my mother has blocked some of them from calling her. She reacted.

All this to say that in accordance with my project, I’ve realized that I want to continue what I’m doing. I’ve set things in motion that cannot be stopped, so I just have to continue to do as I do.